Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

All you ever wanted to know about me and more.

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Background Point #1: The 20 Statements Test
I was forced to do the 20 statements test last Monday in Socio Theory class, only to discover 2 things:
(a) a deep, anti-labeling drive/push (based surely in too many labels placed upon me through my life)..
(b) a natural reaction into the subjective.
Obviously this is an accusation that I’m self-focused..

But this sociology class is teaching me more about myself than any other class. It is showing me some distinct traits which are good & bad. Philosophy only gives me options. I like studying the human nature, and I like considering the philosophical options, however, I still enjoy some concrete things every now & then. But I’m not a scientist. I’d rather let someone else run the numbers, do the methods (is that what research assistents are for?). I’ve got plenty of ideas.

Background Point #2: Carmen’s Theory of Society.
I (like most people) value what’s in me too much; others read this in me, and find no ‘room’ in/nearby me for themselves to value me/attributes of/things in me. I have been actively stopping other ppl from valuing me. I should start letting other ppl value my qualities.. cuz that’s their job, not mine.  Society only works when other ppl value what’s in me, and I in them.

Background Point #3: NYT Depression Article. Just read it. (over & over again! ;) )

Quick, Fake Responses to all this, in particular to Carmen’s Theory:
-Waaay too idealistic.
-That’ll never work
-That hasn’t worked
-That’s why I’m so self-consumed; others never valued me
-Ok, so maybe some ppl valued me, but I didn’t value them, cuz of an unequal distribution. That is, Older ppl might have valued me, and I might have valued them for their place in my life (being old ppl).. but a lack of peer-valuing has contributed to an uneasiness in me, and self-reflection. The “rumination” theory of the mind, that we get focused and obsessive about certain attributes we got picked-on by others long ago.

Perhaps a real response:
What I value is what I value; it is initially sourced in what I find outside myself (like everybody else). But because of various ruminations/imaginations/strong-mindedness, I create a world about me, fanciful, unique-to-me, and nearly impenetrable.

It all starts with something very small which I find amazing or appauling. Then, instead of  (a) “tempering” any next idea or thought regarding this against reality, or (b) perhaps as many others do: just leave it be, I continue on my mental jaunt, which to me is fun. It no longer seems imaginative but very, very real – more real than the external world in which the idea was sourced. This, of course is not simply my personal, willful “commitment” to rationalism; a free-willful choice is hardly what I feel! Rather, my mind has come to a near-enslavement of rumination by sheer habit. This enslavement is where I feel all/most of my determinism/anti-will ideology.

Consequences of all this:
I feel oddly confused, relieved and surprised by all this self-learning. Carmen noted how most of this information did not come from inside of me. (Read: I’m not that amazing after all.) Second, this is all certainly a relief, that there is a new platform from which I can actually live my life and take part in what actually is the external world.

Most importantly, for all those med-students who wish to be psychiatrists (which likely I should have seen a loooooooong time ago! ..but they’re all booked up in this city..) I have some words of advice:
1) You will not solve your patient’s problems unless you understand their context, and method of mental processes. Read: I hope you took your psychology & sociology classes seriously in undergrad!
2) You will not change the world with drugs. Hopefully you already know this. But hopefully you understand your role as a counselor more than as a doctor.
3) You will get more “data” on mental issues than anyone else ever will. You have the chance to be the best at what you do. Make sure you get the data & be a good mental scientist. (See #1).

News Media, You Do Not Have Our Attention!

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

In a tribute to Jessica Hagy’s oh-too-obvious work (but we still love it!) I hereby present:

In the past 20 hours, I have heard of “snow-pocalypse” on FoxNews* & “Comcast/NBC mergepocalypse” / “Comcatastrophe” from the Consumerist**. Need I mention the “financial meltdown” from 2-4 months ago?? I’m not convinced.  Sure the snow is “record setting“, but that just means it’s rare, which means exciting. It’s fun, it’s February, it’s supposed to snow! And the more southerly it snows, the faster it will melt. My real concern is the general public (and news media’s) willingness to panic. Panic attacks don’t get anyone anywhere.

Enough already.

Notes:

* I do not watch FoxNews. Ever.
** I was pointed to this link by a friend, which was amusing.

Upon “Examined Life” – the purpose of philosophy

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Philosophy, by the way, is not about saying “I don’t believe that” and it sure isn’t about saying “I don’t see/can’t see… how … is..” Philosophy is that incredulity, which says to your beliefs not, “you are wrong”, but “how is it that you function?” It’s not a matter of if your beliefs are or are not ‘foundational’ or ’supported’, or ‘right’, but how your beliefs are destroying or building yourself, another person, another society.

Now, go ahead and say I’m wrong, but please do so in an original way.

2 paper-writing theories

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

1) Mention everything (in passing), so the readers (graders, profs) know you know all that is involved.

2) Mention only what’s within-scope & keep it a tight (albeit closed) paper. But then what of all the contingencies I just left open? What of all the things I know are involved, but don’t have time or space to mention?? These are the questions which drive me (a) crazy and (b) back to #1.

I’ve previously gone with #1, but no one seems to like that way of writing. It’s certainly how my brain works. I’ve got a paper due in exactly 48 hours. Looks like I’ll try for #2. Still I fuss: “Sure it’s easier to leave stuff out, but it’s a Western-minded induced inaccuracy!” ..And I’m a fan of accuracy.

Faith, Reason, Dependence

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Is there a difference between me “following God/Jesus in faith” vs. me “following God/Jesus in reason”? The latter is what people have come to term “making God into your own image.” The alternative is a life of openness (or dependence, as Schleiermacher wrote, though I would say the Scriptures & creeds point to this idea!). But one cannot live in this world without decision-making amongst responsibilities, and for the young & without responsibilities (note: not necessarily “irresponsible”, just a more open & potential life) things get confusing and tough. God is The God of History, not just of our personal histories, but of world history. He can work with anything we throw at Him, but the question is always the opposite: can we handle what we throw at ourselves & can we handle what He would throw back at us?!

So to return to the question: most of us likely follow God passively in our own reason: we do as we think we are to do. The opposite option is to follow God actively in our faith: asking daily (dependently, openly) what am I to do/act/think/allow/follow through with today. The 2 middle roads are to follow actively in our reason: which is to make a mockery of Christianity, it is the least mature position. Or we are to follow passively in our faith: when something comes along, we take it. I’m in this last camp, I’ve came from the worst camp, and I’m yet to move forward toward active openness.

That which defines Christianity

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

#1:
-How much theology you know (content)
-How much Christian-ese you know (form/language)
=Trouble: The form/content split: You can say things without knowing the consequence/significance. If there is content behind the Christianese, that’s better. But it still doesn’t solve the outside-perspective problem in #5.

#2:
-How much you love people?
-How much you love knowledge?
=Trouble: The world can do these things too. True, there is debate on the depth of “what does the world know” & “how good can the world be”.. see #4)

#3:
-How social you are (not necessarily how much you love them)
-How elitist (my ppl/snobs) you are.
=Trouble: Christians are our own ppl/community (but it’s not just an insider thing)

#4:
-How sinful this world/ppl/a person/thing is.
-How wonderfully God-made this world/ppl/person/my wife is(are).
=Trouble: Both are true. Can’t be a romantic without being a skeptic.

Conclusions:

Too much rationality (note: this is different than ‘thinking’ or ‘logical’, nevermind the context) is as much a problem as too much romanticism.
This, I think is lately a HUGE problem. Within American, Big-Money (‘protected’) Christianity, there is no ‘bad’. There is no falling out. There is no pain to be had or seen. That which is “horrible” is hardly so.

Too much ‘ethics’ leads to elitism.
Explanation: Too much ‘ethics’ can lead to a redefining of what is actual “sin”. Is sin a simple statement of “that which the world does, but not what Christians do”, or is sin “that which any of the world does, and if Christians do it, they sin.” or shall we exit that short-term debate & claim that all men are sinners & sin everyday of their lives. Is the issue even “acts of sin” at all?

Meaning of meaning

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Church yesterday, the preacher had 4 questions in the bulliten, 3/4 were “What does it mean that…” So I got thinking, what is being asked of us, and is this a common mental pathway for people to think about?

After theological, philosophical & art-history studies, I can’t help but have the word ‘hermeneutics’ come to mind whenever I consider ‘meaning’. But for most people, they think they’re being deep about art when they ask ‘what did the author/artist mean?” Truly, they’re just using a very, very, very, vague term to mask their ignorance.

There’s at least 4 ways people use the word “meaning.” I’ll use the example of marriage.
1) Material worth. This is the most basic, and it might not directly apply to marriage, but it applies to the gold ring.. What does gold mean? It means $. (We’ll get to the symbolism later).
2) Material consequences: The material consequences of marriage is that my wife and I live in the same home, fix meals together, and share finances.
3) Personal/Behavioral Intent: This is likely the most common. People always wonder what someone was thinking, or what they were attempting to do/communicate. The other is always hidden, mysterious to some people. For my example of marriage, the intention behind marriage is that we love each other, and are better together than apart.
4) Symbolic meanings. This is the realm of non-materiality. In Christianity, marriage is a picturing of Christ and the church, enacting a truth. Likewise, the ‘ring’ means all that fluffy stuff preachers talk about.. never-ending (just like marriage), etc..

Material consequences provide a much wider behavioral base than does symbolism. For instance, I have no classes on Tuesday mornings. There is a church event this Tuesday morning. Does this “mean” that I should attend/help at this event? That “meaning” is one of material consequence. That I *should* because “I’m on this planet to advance the church” is purposive, getting closer to symbolic, but not quite. The closest Christianity has of the symbolic interacting with our schedules is that Christ rose on Sunday, and we remember his ressurection on every Sunday. There’s a connection, but it is not produced by any material force (or directly by any social institution like work), but by human ability to remember, and associate.
Thanks to Western culture being heavily individual, as well as scientific, people are confused about meaning, but they seek it out desperately. An inconsequential life is “the worst thing ever” for narcissists. But even for the non-narcissists, we don’t have much speak about the symbolic worth/meaning/importance of our daily lives.
The funny thing about symbolism, is how they are built, and who places them. In literature, the author creates them. In life, it is assumed God creates them. People can, as traditions form symbols, but individuals can also for symbols, though with less consequence/communal aspects.
Within Christianity, the body-as-dwelling-place-of-the-Holy-Spirit does have meaning, both symbolically (that as God is with us now, that we will be with Him later) and consequentially (don’t act unbecoming of God). This pairing of a belief (body=dwelling of Spirit) to symbolic meaning is often left out of discussions, since symbolism isn’t pragratism. We’re a heavy ‘do’ culture, and symbols don’t ‘do’ much. What they can do, we don’t realize, leave out, and are left wandering in search of: symbolism provides a guide for our behaviors and interests. Beliefs don’t have the affective nature of meanings/symbolism. Beliefs seem to be the first filtering of the cold facts of this world. Meanings aren’t about cold facts as much as they are built from beliefs, and reinforce beliefs. Believing Jesus will return to end the world tonight will have material consequence on my behavior. But that sounds kind of random. But if I believed Jesus was returning on August 9th, 2010 because the date was “8/9/10′, now we’re talking symbols (albeit with very, very, poor correspondence of meaning to orthodox/historical Christian beliefs).
Symbolism seems to only exist in various sentimentalism, religion, and literature, be it futuristic/speculative (sci-fi), or of the ‘epic’ variety (Homer, CS Lewis, etc). With no significant meaning-structure in place in Western culture, we all end up wanting our lives to ‘fit just so’ like in a movie-plot, where meanings are tight, and purposes are clear. The non-existence/fuzziness/fracturing of meanings in this world are somewhere between sad, ridiculous and amazing. I’m sure it’s much clearer than we make it out to be, and the clarity does seem to come when we start with the belief that we’re all in avoidance-of-meaning routines.

Technological re-presentation ain’t all it’s cracked up to be..

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Evidence: The Moon. The Full Moon.
Not exactly as full or lively as this pic I get on my weather status/forecast:

A Dynamic, Distributed Idyllic End

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

The dominant Western perspective on idealism is likely a static end. I note within me and my desire for the ideal idyllic end, an imagined, Hume-ian, low-vivacity, highly ordered system of statics, or even worse, a singular static.

I suppose plenty of this is thanks to a history of images and heroism: we are nearly trained by history to look for a singular hero, and for the final state of that hero to be static. Novels end happily, leaving to our imagination only the last scene, pictures display a static ideal.. all display a type of rest from work, where work is the battle fought actively against entropic forces, for the ideal state. Work and activity is banished, since they are direct consequences of an evil.

But to contrast this, what would a non-singular, non-static idyllic world be?

First, an idyllic world: This world is good (without evil or pain). There is an end of value-judgments between and regarding all elements. There is no need for improvement, though it could be possible to display the good (whatever it might be). The need/availability of activity is still to be determined.

Second, a non-singular world: A multiplicity of distributed good is either a heirarchical structure (static) of the elements, or an actively re-coupling, restructuring of the elements, across an eternity of time, going through all the permutations. The ‘good’ here, is displayed over time, occuring between elements.

Third, a dynamic, non-static world: As mentioned, if there is to be a distributed good, there almost certainly will involve a dynamism of the elements. Activity is not the realm of evil or against-evil, but the redisplay of the good inherent. This could involve development and growth, but likely the final-state will be reached.
Here we find a disparity between the nature of terms ‘final’ ’state’ and the ‘change’ involved in growth. Taking a systemic approach, the system of elements can continually re-shuffle, expressing and exchanging between each other (growth), while the system itself remains stable.

As an aside, I fear here my number-theory will fail: that a sufficiently large number of elements, with an exponentially high number of permutations or relations will still fail to reach an infinity of time (eternity). Taking the inverse approach, an infinity divided out will still reveal an infinity.

To challenge my third point again, there are at least 3 types of progress I’ve noticed: a basic, anti-entropic form, an internal building-inward, and an external building-upward towards a transcendent goal. These seem to appear on a continuum of responsibility from a Maslow-like ‘basic self’, ‘optional self’, through self-beyond-self/self-projected-onto-the-other; a feeling responsibility over the external world.
This first kind will not apply in a final good state. The second may; and the third certainly sounds backwards: the final-state having a goal? Usually we consider goals-completed as final-states. Odd.

I’m not sure where this goes, but it was an interesting study mid-day..

The Death of Cartoons.. and justice?

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Gotta admit, I’m a bit disturbed by the lack of quality saturday morning cartoons here.
Perhaps I’m most concerned about the lack of anything but advert-shows on ‘basic cable’.
But the former is more likley an indicator of 2 things I can imagine:
1) parents pushing kids away from tv
2) kids no longer being kids: watching pg-13 movies with more action & realism.

2 Questions come from this:
1) Is there no longer a “standard family” in america, where cartoon-watching on saturdays is the staple? Advertizers used to survive on this.
2) The few cartoons I saw were heavily justice-oriented: good/bad, winner/loser kinda stuff. Are Saturday morning cartoons where my generation’s overdeveloped sense of justice comes from?

I fear this last one, since it’s not just the saturday cartoons, but the popular movies & comic books as well. Where are the socializing agents of love and respect?