Before we got married, Mark and I decided that since travel is one of our favorite activities, we should schedule it into our lives once a year.  Ideally, we’d like: 1) A two-of-us trip 2) A “family” trip if we have kids eventually… 3) A “Hers” trip, and 4) A “His” trip. So i got my solo trip this week. Really more due to budget there was only enough money for one to go…and i thought i deserved a little trip/break after my boards. So i headed off with my carry-on to NOLA. Stayed with my friend Quinn in her dorm apartment… within walking distance to the French Quarter. Here’s my itinerary:

Day 0: Land in New Orleans airport and Dr Q picks me up, and we go eat sushi and ice cream with her friends.

Day 1: Walk to St Charles streetcar. Ride the streetcar to uptown (reminds me of Savannah, actually). Find the Farmer’s market. I’d heard that during the month of June, some chefs from Emeril’s restaurants (I think he has 3 places in town…) would be there featuring their seasonal cuisine. So I figured that for my budget, this was the best way to get some authentic Emeril food. As an amateur chef, I have to say that Emeril’s recipes always turn out well. I don’t necessarily like the fact that he has a “food empire” now, but his 3 restaurants in the city are all different with their unique ambiance and cusine. So he’s got some cred and respect.  All I can say is this: the dish i tried- Goat Cheese Cake w/ Tomato Coulis- (0r something like that) was very nice, cooling, and honestly, a really great late breakfast.  Ok, so it starts raining a bit while I’m there, so I pull out my handy-dandy rain jacket and the baseball cap Mark let me borrow and found a covered spot to enjoy my goat cheese… had Panko bread crumbs on top, not to mention that really light and slightly sweet tomato sauce, and some mint and chives on the side (yeah i ate them too).

Goat Cheese Breakfast

Alright so it kinda let up raining, so I started to head back to the streetcar. Of course it started POURING down rain. Finally made it back to the streetcar line… put in my dollar… didn’t work. The conductor said “do you have a dry dollar, ma’am because it will not be receptive.” Fortunately I did find a more dry one in my purse, so I didn’t get stranded there. So rode all the way back downtown, wringing out my skirt and pouring out my shoes in the process. Since i was already wet, I decided to keep sightseeing. Went to the Spanish plaza, rode a ferry across the Mississippi River (and back), walked a bit thru the Quarter and found a Po-boy place (playing both afternoon world cup group games!) with some awesome sweet tea for lunch.

Po'Boy Lunch

Headed back to the apartment, showered, changed to dry clothes, then out again with Quinn and friends for Mexican food and frozen margaritas.  Then out for hookah with Q. Good times catching up with an old friend.

Day 2: Much drier. Head to the Quarter, see the voodoo museum, then to Cafe du Monde for Beignets and Cafe au Lait. Very enjoyable. Also some quality jazz musicians on the corner-one man on trumpet and singing, the other on snare drum. Then to the cathedral. Really nice… not as impressive as Europe…or even Savannah or New York… but SO well air-conditioned. Just sat there awhile and rested.

Cafe au Lait and Beignets

Then went off looking to make a reservation for cooking school the next morning. At the first place, which I’d heard of before, I was wait-listed. So i decided to try my luck at a new place (with questionable existence according to google). It was located in the mall…which made me a bit skeptical… but as soon as I saw their classroom overlooking the Mississippi and their really lovely, expensive kitchen and their menu… Jambalaya, Shrimp Etoufee, Bananas Foster, Pralines… sold.  I’m only the 5th person to make a reservation for the class. yay! Then found some red beans and rice before retreating to the air-conditioned apartment. Out to a pub for a bite with Q and friends again, then Q and I head back to the French Quarter in hunt of a Hurricane. Bourbon street at night is pretty hilarious. Not scary, just comedically seedy with all the over-the-top clubs. Alright, so take a turn off Bourbon at St. Peters and find Pat O’Brien’s on the right. Reminded me of a pub Mark and I visited in Nottingham (reportedly the oldest still in existence) – new little rooms everywhere you turned (except in England it was caves, not a 200 year old house). So anyway we got a Hurricane (meh, vodka and Kool-aid?) and enjoyed the dueling-piano-bar-show for awhile.

Day 3: Cooking class. Really my favorite part of visiting the city. 2 chefs, 12 students. Both chefs were “creole” or from the city. One was of italian heritage, the other french. They both had great recipes from their Cajun (country) friends and relatives. I learned that Jambalaya was based on paella, and that it should be “herby,” not “spicy”.

Jambalaya

Really good dried meat they put in there. Then Etoufee.. nice and creamy. Then Bananas Foster. Then they offered us seconds! If you ever get a chance to take a cooking class in NOLA, check out Crescent City Cooks. They’re great. Then I walked around the French Market, and for some reason got more food- Muffaletta at Central Grocery. I usually don’t like salami, but with all that cheese and olives… surprisingly good Then off to the airport. Good thing I ate so much cuz my flight was delayed and i didn’t have time to stop for dinner since I was running thru the Atlanta airport. Made it home around midnight. Mark and Axel definitely missed me. (yeah yeah I missed them too, especially Mark)

"Muff-a-lotta"

In America (and england to some degree), we had the ‘revivals’ in the 1700-1800′s. We did go thru a ‘religious death’ in the 1900′s thru fundamentalism & liberalism, but we’ve held the line thru evangelicalism.. now “alive” thru emerging-ism(?).

As to Germany, it has it’s roots back like America does in the 1600′s. but that’s 400 yrs ago. Germany’s 1800′s was liberalism thru rationalism, it’s 1900′s a mix of (rational fundamentalism)war + capitalism/modernism.

So we had at least some kind of religious element. They haven’t. We’ve had a bouy bouncing, a man barely tredding water.. their bouy got torpedoed; their man was pulled down, attacked in his head.

Now, the adults maintain rationality, and die jungen hold to agnosticism, and are afraid to commit, since commitment is exclusionary, and thank you Kant, “who’s to say” what’s beyond the knowable..

It’s a long road back. I wanna be here and write rationally on any and everything I can that will counter all the silly rationality: the problem with inclusionism, the need for exclusion, the need for commitment. But all this cannot be just from my own personal experience. I must also learn to get inside other people’s heads, specifically the mind of the anti-exclusionary, “happy enough,” anti-commitment, sleeping-with-live-in-girlfriend, semi-culturally-rebellious kid. ..Recovering regret, mining deeper than “good enough”..

They will always say, “but what about…” (the other option). I can say 2 things:
1) why do you need another option is this has your answers?
2) here is how those others do not hold up, and here ARE all the options.

But those are my thoughts.. who’s to say if that’s what God has for my life. All I know is that I write. A lot. and ALWAYS on the same topic: a philosophical recovery of theology, which is able to be displayed in all life: personal psychology, group sociology, economics and eventually science. Call me Van Til.

I’m after an ‘honest’ Christianity that is able to contain all that science finds, and is not surprised by ‘new’ findings. Cuz as much as I don’t like it, it’s true that when Christians are taken off guard, it looks like God is taken by surprise as well.

I think it’s cuz I’m so idealistic. cuz my mind is SO powerful. Idealism needs a proportion of empowerment to survive, to bring about it’s ideal. That’s me. And when my idealism is broken by the day, I have nothing.. and I’m furious. I don’t know what my ideal entails, but I do know what it doesn’t include, and that is usually what happens.

Someone less idealistic, who takes things “as they come” and doesn’t have any prejudice over whether they should or should not happen.. that’s the ‘other’ mind that I don’t have, that I don’t know, that I must learn to communicate into.

So before I find out something has failed at work, before I find out that something isn’t “my way”.. it’s so hard, believing(accepting) life won’t go my way. cuz it’s all I want. cuz without You, it is the only thing I need.

So break oh day, and with you my soul! Break, my heart, and with you your own self ideals for self-preservation which are not for your Maker.

Well, I’ve been outside the states for 2 weeks now.. what have I learned?

That is a hard question. I wanna say, “nothing really.” A *large* part of me is kind of.. not bummed.. not disenchanted (ok maybe), perhaps just surprised at how much like the states Germany is. I’ve been to 3 cities for about 5 days each.. each have their own feel, but none of them feel ‘otherworldly’. I guess I have to go Africa, Bangledesh or inner-Brazil to get that feeling.

Cuz I’m here in Neustadt in Dresden, in what effectively is SoHo in NYC, the Highlands in L-ville, and Wicker Park in Chicago.

I’ve learned that I can get wifi anywhere in any major city (over .5mil ppl) in Germany.

I’ve learned that I can live anywhere so long as I have 5 friends in that town.

I’ve learned that I love communicating what I think about with ppl who will listen, and that travelling is prime opportunity to talk about who you are, where yer from, and what ya do (for me, think too much!).

I’m not an excitable creature. Sure I’ve seen the Alps from Marienkirche in Munich. Sure I’ve flown over London Bridge, seen Ireland from 30k ft, and walked among 400 year old castles and fortresses. It is what it is. It’s not enough to get my soul excited.. and maybe that’s it. I’ve known joy so deep that when others make travelling out to be as deep as Jesus is to my soul that when I experience travel and “seeing the sites”, it’s not as deep as Jesus. Not even close. Maybe I’m just a kill-joy, but whereever I am, at home or across the Atlantic, I’m with Him, and that’s all I need. The rest is “just life.”

22.05.07:
I  had one of the more interesting events in my life over the past 24 hours, and I figure I should write about it. I’ve already let some of my friends in on the story, but there’s always more to tell.

I suppose there’s a few levels to the story, my context in it’s short and long-term form, the actual narrative, and my reaction.

My context, long term:
I took my first intro to philosophy class because I had to, not out of burning desire. I had no prior interest and I didn’t really know what to make of it when I did take it. It was with a hard prof, and for the most of it, it was just about old ideas. This was fall semester, sophomore or junior year. I don’t know why but sometime in the class I asked the prof if there was a class on more “contemorary” philosophy.. like what’s happening now. He said in the spring, and I planned to take the class. Eventually though, at the same time as this contemporary philosophy class, I needed to take another class (tues-thurs) for my music minor. I asked if I could sit in on monday and wednesday. He was fine with that, and so began my intense interest in philosophy. This class introduced me to Critical Theory, Habermas, Derrida, Foucalt and Baudrillard. And I loved it. I even asked the prof about Grad School, which he termed, “the snooze button on the alarm clock of life.’ I even told my parents I wanted to go to a secular grad school for philosophy. And yes, I even took the GRE. I did ‘normal’.. ‘standard’. Not above and beyond. That, with trying to do a book review 400 pages thick by Rorty tempered my interest.

I went on to live life, learn through depression and eventually forget about philosophy on every level. But I still kept it as a background. I would say I liked it, but display no active participation in it. Then I was free to go to SBTS, where I found myself more interested in my Philosophy paper than in my Greek exegesis paper. Theology? I’d had enough in undergrad. It’s time for philosophy!  And meeting my girlfriend got that ball rolling all the more! She’s read up on a lot! So I’m now planning on taking post-bacc classes at GSU next spring, with an MA and PhD in time.

On another front, I’ve never been anywhere outside the US, until this past month. And I’ve never really considered going anywhere, until last year, when I heard someone tell her story of her love for another people. So I get curious, and I start reading and I start to wonder about Germany. This land filled with thinkers and theologians of past ages, now turned by skepticism.. and this leads me to wonder about my role, my interest in philosophy, and my years of studying myself– what good is it? What could it be used for? Who needs to know what I’ve learned? Cuz all my “average joe” friends in America don’t understand me at all. I’m too far out for them, and I offer little in terms of their practical mindset. So I came here with one question: is all my learning of life and self and God of any use to a nation filled with thinkers and skeptics and agnostics afraid to commit?

Narrative:
So I’ve been in Germany for almost 1.5 weeks now, 5 days in Frankfurt, 6 in Muenchen. I get a late start to my day- I want to book reservations for when Carmen comes, I want to check out and hit Regensberg to find (literally, since it’s not on any map ANYWHERE on the internet!!) Vallhalla. Well, after getting up late, missing breakfast at the hostel, and misbooking the wrong month on a few reservations, I’m off to the Hbf. I grab my baguette– in europe, apparently a sandwich consists of a 6″ piece of dry bread, with 1 slice of deli-meat, lettuce, a tomato and a cucumber on it. Not super-filling. So I grab a cranberry.. thing. And I forget the time and JUST get on the train after running for it! I find my seat and am, well, tired. I notice my ears being wierd, and on this train ride, I’m not going without water. So I pay the guy 1.60eu. I thought he said 1.57. No, that was 1.75. Don’tcha love german numbers. so we get that straightened out, after looking like a dumb american. Then I open it, and it explode over my pants an the edge of the macbook. Dandy. I quit. I’m tired. I just want peace, and I have none. It’s hot. I’ve messed 3 things up already, and I haven’t had any time with Jesus. Of course.

So I get to Regensberg, and there’s no washroom. There’s no tourist office. I try to get  bike, and they’re closed. Good thing, cuz the DB attendant tells me bus #5 goes to Valhalla. Great! Where’s bus 5? I look on a map, and it tells me only the NW side of town. Great. Time to walk. My camera is in my bag, and I miss a few good shots. It’s hot so I change into shorts, put on sunsscreen and grab my camera at a McDonald’s, as well as ENTIRELY in german asking for a milkshake.. large.. strawberry.. to go.

It’s good that I walked, because I found the altstadt, with the dom. It’s big. And very 400 years old. So I keep going after killing half my camera battery. I kinda get lost and ask where bus 5 is. 30m behind me. Perfect. I wait 5 minutes watching high-school jokers try to flip a hat from their mouth to their head. Apparently “potato-head” is a valid derrogotory comment. Bus comes. I pay my 2.50. I thought he said 5. My GPS saves the day, and I track the trip to valhalla. I have coodinates, and dangit, I know where it is! The bus stops, and I find out that I need to walk up a road.. up a path to Valhalla. Dunno how long it is, and I’m running out of time, so I hit it hard. Yes, with my 15-20kg pack on. I get to the top only stopping once, and it was roughly as bad as Heidelberg. GPS is my friend: altitude change, 60m. I take all the pix I could want, including me with Kant, and then my battery dies. Ok. Time to check out of Regensberg. Oh look, the bus goes RIGHT to the bahnhof, and I never had to walk like a fool earlier! Oh well. I got the Dom.

Head back to the train station, and find that I just missed a train to Hof by 3 minutes, and I have to wait an hour, and I won’t get to dresden until 0:30. Hmm.. wonder if my hostel closes at night.. wonder where it is.. close to hbf? probably not. So I pay .50 eu for the inet..get a map.. no, it’s not close. Well, whatever. Grab Burger King and a 1.5L wasser for .30eu for the ride.

Ride=work. I think.. a lot about the “Human Network” and “Theological Network” that exists within groups. And I think on Human Nature.. corrupt will, corrupt mind, and how God is dependent on his other 2 persons for knowledge of love-relationship. Fun stuff. Amazingly ordered and clear. Still haven’t really had time with Jesus. Kinda forgot at this point.

So 2 stops later, it’s 22:20 in the middle of nowhere, and I’m waiting for a train. it comes, a double-decker. I go up top, and I’m alone. Good. Laptop is dead, and I need rest. A guy comes up to me and asks something in German. I miss it and ask for English. He’s asking if I have “room on my ticket”.. sorry, railpass doesn’t have multiple ppl. So he knows I’m travelling and we talk. It’s good. He grabs his stuff and his friend, and sits with me. They finish their beers, and we talk. It gets interesting pretty quick.

Christoph is studying transportation economy (efficiency) at the uni at Dresden. Andrew is studying philosophy. They both are coming with their 35L backpacks from working waiting tables at Wiesbaden over the past weekend. Christoph’s English is better– he’s been to Chicago when he was 17. Andrew hasn’t been across the ocean.. never flown either. They’re both 21-22. They ask where I’m from, where I’m going, what I do. I tell them from Frankfurt to Munchen to Dresden to Berlin, for the fun of it, working as I can over the internet. ..That I’m studying philosophy at a uni. That I’m writing philosophy for my job on human nature. ..And we’re off to the races. I say that I think the human mind isn’t big enough to understand ourselves nor our world, thus we are unable to ‘use’ it and make sense of it, especially when we deny parts of it we don’t like. At that point, Andrew asks if I’m Christian or something. I have to admit I am. I usually like holding out and surprising ‘em. Chrisoph says, “oh really, I am too!” I think, “yeah right.. he’s nominal like the states. No one is REALLY a christian in this country, right?” but then Andrew says how Christoph is always saying he “fears for my soul.” Ok. Maybe there are saved people in germany. But he still smokes, drinks and curses!

Andrew and I talk more about philosophy. He brings up Camus and fear and how he thinks the mind is actually bigger than all else, just encased in the body that limits it.

I can’t remember all the details, but I think I got the gospel of Jesus’ substitution for me.. ah yes.. we talked about moralism, how that’s not good enough for God. Of course, that’s not his standard. His standard is relationship with Him. And a messed-up human will and selfishness.

So we arrive, and they find a map, and I tell them where my hostel is.. it’s a ways off, and waiting for a tram that may not come isn’t worth it. So they invite me to stay the night with them. Ok, sure. Sounds great. I like these kids. We take their tram, walk to their apartment which they admitted was a bit dirty, and, well, ‘college kids’ live there! It’s Christoph, another dude, and Andrew and his girlfriend. We get there and crash after showers. This morning we all rose at around 11am. I packed and we had breakfast in the kitchen, I meet Sarah, Andrew’s girlfriend. Andrew and Christoph leave the kitchen for whatever reason, and I talk with Sarah.. she’s a philosophy chic too, but has turned to psychology, since it’ll pay more.. well anything. Yeah, philosophers in germany are poor too! We talk about schooling and uni, and somehow.. we’re back at it- I’m telling her the same things I told Andrew last night. She’s willing to hear me. She’s watching me, listening, asking. And skeptical, just like Andrew, “well I AM his girlfriend!” she says. I laugh, because I know Carmen would be just like me on these topics too! We talk about the unknown, God’s plan vs. my plan. She seemed surprised about God speaking to me. I admitted it was on a spirit-spirit level, which is able to ‘push’ my emo’s and mind, so as to ‘hear’ God. She is so skeptical, unwilling to commit. I admitted I committed out of pain. I HAD to. and that I still fight against God, but he’s still my answer. She’s familiar with Job, grace, catholicism. I mention Rom 6 and John 16. Christoph comes in and laughs at me again for going at it again. I’m NOT trying here! It’s just happening! I admit to her (like I did Andrew) that I cannot change her, only hope that her answer works, and to tell her how well my answer works. But they always want to have an open set.. “just in case” because “who can tell” what is real. Can’t prove nor disprove. So I turn pragmatic. “Works for me, hope yours works for you. Lemme know when it doesn’t.”

So Christoph and I exchange email and phone, and say we’ll hang out tonight. He takes me to the train, and we’re off. I make it to my hostel which is effectively in SoHo. Neustadt is Soho.

And so I wonder– was I of any use this past 24 hours? I was involved.. I DID something. I “wasn’t ashamed of the gospel and it’s power”.. (ok, so they did have to ASK if I was christian.. and I was reluctant to some level.. reluctant over being labelled and dismissed though..) Is the role I had with Andrew and Sarah for me to have with many more? Here? States? I dunno if it was of any use, but I sure had fun! I’m so glad to talk with people who think, and told them as much.

Things I’ve learned:
1) 5 hrs of “sleep” over 48 hours isn’t enough.
2) Flying British Airways at night is a good idea: there were 3-4 seats per person on the flight! Time to stretch!
3) London from 1000m is ‘close enough’ to see stuff
4) There *is* such a thing as too much turbulence (re: heathrow->frankfurt)
5) There are mexicans here too
6) Frankfurt’s FFM bahnhof reminded me of atlanta’s
7) the trip on the bahn from FFM to Frankfurt Hbf was a lot like Cleveland’s train ride from the airport to tower city: lots of trees.
Frankfurt’s hauptbahnhof is movie-esque.
9) Walking out of the Hbf felt kinda like walking out of NYC’s Madison Sq. Garden
10) Germans have better beds/sheets
11) All my google/blogger pages are “automagically” in german. This is good- maybe I’ll learn the language faster!